Tag: Double Empathy Problem
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Awe, Wonder and Monotropic Attention in Neuroqueer Learning Spaces
If Helen De Cruz designed a learning space, what would it look like? Helen Edgar follows wonder and awe through monotropism, glimmers, flow and Cavendish Space.
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Plain Language:
A plain-language guide to monotropism, wonder and awe — what happens when Autistic and ADHD attention is given space to notice, and stay
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Penguin Pebbling: Theory, Practice and the Five Neurodivergent Love Locutions — A Guide for Practitioners
Penguin Pebbling is a low-demand, neurodiversity-affirming card game built around the Five Neurodivergent Love Locutions — five relational modes natural to many Autistic and neurodivergent people: infodumping, parallel play, support swapping, penguin pebbling, and deep pressure
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Five Autistic Love Locutions: Showing Care And Love In Different Ways
Autistic people have always had our own ways of showing love. Discover the five Autistic love locutions — infodumping, parallel play, support swapping, penguin pebbling and deep pressure.
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Penguin Pebbling: A Game of Creating Belonging, Building Connection and Understanding Autistic Identity
Penguin Pebbling: A Game of Creating Belonging, Building Connection and Understanding Autistic Identity
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Why Attachment Theory Fails Autistic People, and What Might Work Instead
If you have spent any time navigating schools, social care, or therapy as an Autistic person or supporting a loved one, you have likely encountered attachment theory. You may have been blamed for your children’s difficulties and said they were due to attachment disorders and perhaps your parenting issues, or you may have been told…
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No Space Is Neutral: Safe Spaces, Imagined Neutrality, and the Work of Belonging
: No space is neutral. Exploring minority stress, the Double Empathy Problem, and what it really takes to build safer, neuroqueer spaces together.
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Being With People & The Value of Intensive Interaction
Helen Edgar draws on twenty years of practice alongside people with PMLD to explore why Intensive Interaction — when practised with genuine neuro-affirming care — is not just a communication approach. It is a way of being human together.
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Neuro-Affirming Practice Is Not a Framework. It’s a Way of Being.
Neuro-affirming practice isn’t a framework or a checklist. It’s about being human — kind, compassionate, and truly present with people, just as they are.
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Intensive Interaction as Neuro-Affirming Relational Practice
Intensive Interaction isn’t about “fixing” or prompting communication. It’s about meeting someone where they are—through connection, attunement, and shared flow. A neuro-affirming, relational framing to support those with profound and multiple learning disabilities.
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Re-Storying Autism
Re-Storying Autism A Framework For Families, Parents, And Carers: Reimagining Support For Autistic People. #1 Amazon Bestseller
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Monotropism, Limerence And Autistic ADHD Experiences
Limerence in Autistic and ADHD people may be shaped by monotropism, a natural tendency toward deep focus and emotional intensity. Rather than being unhealthy or excessive, this pattern reflects how monotropic people engage deeply with relationships, meaning, and how they form connections.
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Beyond “Complex Needs”: Neuro-Affirming, Relational Practice with Children with Profound and Multiple Learning Disabilities
A neuro-affirming, relational approach to supporting children with profound and multiple learning disabilities, centred on safety, communication, and being-with.
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Free 2025 Advent Calendar & Neuro-Affirming Autism Resources
Free 2025 Advent Calendar & Neuro-Affirming Autism Resources
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The Neuronormative Paradigm: Naming The Systems That Harm
The Neuronormative Paradigm, conceptualised by Nick Walker, names the systems that define and enforce what society considers normal. This exploration piece contrasts the neuronormative paradigm with the neurodiversity paradigm, which recognises all ways of being as vital to human diversity.
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Understanding the Double Empathy Problem: A Guide For Autistic People & Families
FREE Neuro-Affirming Communication & Sensory Passport + Training Support Autistic people through better understanding of communication, sensory needs & double empathy.
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Presuming Competence: A Neuro-Affirming Reframe To Support Autistic People
When “presume competence” is applied without a neuro-affirming lens, it can become a harmful, ableist expectation
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Autistic Pride: Restorying & Unknowing Autism
Restorying is how we reclaim our Autistic voices, honour our ways of knowing, and build futures rooted in connection, not correction.
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Being With People with Profound and Multiple Learning Disabilities Through Attunement and Shared Time
There’s something incredibly powerful in the simple idea of being with someone. Not doing to or even doing with or for, but truly being with. For people with PMLD, attunement, emotional connection, and flexible shared time can help to create more space for trust and support wellbeing.
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Empowering Advocacy: Neuro-Affirming Support for Your Autistic Young Person at School
By Helen Edgar (Autistic Realms), with David Gray-Hammond & Tanya Adkin Navigating the education system as the parent or carer of an Autistic child can often feel like steering a tiny boat through stormy seas, it can feel impossibly hard and be exhausting. For many families, the challenge isn’t just the school system; it’s the…
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Neurodiversity Affirming Reading Recommendations
Looking for neurodiversity-affirming reads? I’ve have a growing collection of books listed by autistic authors, advocates, and researchers. Perfect for parents, professionals, and curious minds alike. Explore stories that affirm, not fix. Neurodivergent voices centred. From education to identity, burnout to belonging.
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Neuroqueering Monotropic Time: A short summary
Autistic/ADHD people are more likely to be monotropic and resonate with the theory of monotropism. Dinah Murray, Wenn Lawson, and Mike Lesser developed the theory of monotropism in the late 1990s. It is typically described as a neuro-affirming theory of Autism, but I think it is also a temporal mode. I am considering whether being…
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Neuroqueering Time: Bergson, Deleuze, and Monotropism (an exploration)
Time as a double temporality problem, exploring interest gravity for monotropic people and flow as a temporal home…..
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Monotropic Time & Neuroqueering Temporalities
Monotropic Time & Neuroqueering Temporalities Dwelling in Resonance: Monotropism, Monotropic Time, Spirals & Neuroqueer Temporalities
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Monotropic Time
Each person’s experience of time is likely to be influenced by culture, age, disability and neurodivergence. For Autistic/ADHD/AuDHD people, time is anything but linear or neutral and is not a universally accepted given.
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Neuro-Affirming Research in Practice: Supporting Autistic Students, Embracing Monotropism In The Classroom And Beyond
Written by Tanya Adkin and Helen Edgar, based on the presentation we delivered to the National Autistic Society Professionals’ Conference in March, 2025. Shared with permission from NAS. We will explore the importance of the theory of monotropism and the significance of flow states and suggest some practical strategies educators can implement to create more…
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Monotropism and Autistic Play
All play is ok! There is no right way to play! All play is ok! There is no right way to play! To embrace Autistic play is to embrace the theory of monotropism. We need to enable the right environments and foster meaningful relationships so people can engage in flow and have cognitive, sensory and…
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Challenges for Autistic & Neurodivergent Families Navigating the SEND System: We Need to Understand the Double Empathy Problem & Embrace Monotropism
(Blog based on a presentation I delivered to London Met University 14th March 2025, updated April 24th 2025 following the research published by…. Introduction The Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) system is designed to support children with additional needs, yet for many neurodivergent families, it presents more barriers than solutions. Families navigating this system…
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What does ‘neuro-affirming’ mean for Autistic young people?
This blog was written by myself, Helen Edgar of @autisticrealms for GROVE. I am delighted to work with Grove Neurodivergent Mentoring and Education as their Training, Education & Resource Specialist. This blog was edited by Jess Garner, GROVE’sFounder/Director. The blog, ‘What does ‘neuro-affirming’ mean for Autistic young people?’ is available to read on GROVE’s website, along with many other resources and information…
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Autistic Young People & Friendships
Discover how Autistic young people experience and build friendships in a way that honors their unique communication styles and interests.
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Tides of burnout and being monotropic
“Once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.” [And that may even be a good thing]. (Kafka on the Shore, Haruki Murakami, 2002) Haruki Murakami is one of my…
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Obstacles in the way of Neuro-Affirming Practice in Educational Settings & Ways Forward
Implementing neurodiversity-affirming practices in education, healthcare, and other systems is often hindered by pervasive narratives and biases. Recognizing and addressing these obstacles is crucial for fostering inclusive and supportive environments for neurodivergent and disabled individuals. Here are some common barriers that I have been working on with Stimpunks, who have a more in-depth page with…
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The Map of Monotropic Experiences: A Summary
The Map of Monotropic Experiences now has a home of its own. You can explore each of the twenty areas in more depth at monotropicmap.org. The free training and downloads are on the main Map of Monotropic Experiences page. The Map of Monotropic Experiences, created by Helen Edgar of Autistic Realms in collaboration with the…
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Neuronormative Domination, Monotropism & The Map of Monotropic Experiences
The Map of Monotropic Experiences now has a home of its own. Read more about neuronormative domination, the water the whole map sits in, at monotropicmap.org, and explore each of the twenty areas of the map there too. In collaboration with Stimpunks, I created a Map of Monotropic Experiences. This is a revised edition of…
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Gestalt Language Processing, Monotropism & Young People
Monotropic (Autistic/ ADHD) people have fewer tunnels of interest to process and use their energy than polytropic people (non-Autistic/ADHD). Polytropic people can more easily split their processing and energy resources across multiple channels than monotropic people, this may explain some key differences in communication people experience. It may initially sound a bit conflicting to discuss…
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Autistic Burnout – Supporting Young People At Home & School
Autistic burnout in young people is real—and recovery starts with understanding. This post offers neuroaffirming ways to spot the signs, reduce demands, and truly support. 💛 #AutisticBurnout #Neuroaffirming #Monotropism #AutisticSupport
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Monotropic Interests and Looping Thoughts
The theory of monotropism was developed by Murray, Lawson and Lesser in their article, Attention, monotropism and the diagnostic criteria for autism (2005). Monotropism is increasingly considered to be the underlying principle behind autism and is becoming more widely recognised, especially within autistic and neurodivergent communities. Fergus Murray, in their article Me and Monotropism:…
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Map of Monotropic Experiences
The Map of Monotropic Experiences now has a home of its own. Visit monotropicmap.org to explore each of the twenty areas, mark your own map and find the free training. You can also find the free training and downloads further down this page. Monotropism seeks to explain Autism in terms of attention distribution and interests. …
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Monotropism and Collective Flow
In Milan Kundera’s novel, ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being’ (1981), he described the heaviness of life, the restrictive oppression and boundaries that can tie us all down, yet there is freedom in the possibilities the mind can bring and in the choices we can make. We can subvert the restrictions of neuronormative society; we can,…
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Neurodivergent Base-Camp
Explaining what it is like to be autistic to non-autistic people can be difficult. To quote Dawn Prince-Hughes (Cultural Autism Studies at Yale), being autistic is like “being human without the skin”. This can be difficult for non-autistic people to understand. Seeing and feeling the blank looks and Double Empathy Problem (Milton, 2012) at a…
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Autistic Burnout, Bodymind and Soul
Kieran Rose (2018) describes autistic burnout as a ‘crash where you keep on crashing’. This resonates deeply. I have experienced cycles of burnout throughout my life due to systemic unmet needs living as an autistic person in a world primarily designed for non-autistic people. The double empathy problem (Milton, 2012) is real, and as explained…
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Quantum Neuro-Holographic Thoughts from a Liminal Space
“Quantumness tends to prosper in very cold systems that are carefully isolated rather than part of a tepid soup awash with other activity.” (Lewton, T. 2024) This may be a weird take, but … I think we could use the idea of quantumness and reframe it around an interpretation of marginalised groups living on the edges of…
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Neurodivergent Co-Regulation
Being neurodivergent can be really hard work in a world that is mostly still lacking in an understanding of the differences in sensory, social, and communication needs of autistic/ADHD and other neurodivergent people. Different lived experiences can create a double empathy gap (Milton, 2012). This means that people’s needs are often not adequately met, and…
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Neuro-Holographic Thoughts
I believe that the DEEP (Double Empathy Extreme Problem) is at the heart of all the systemic ableist issues we have in our education, social and healthcare systems. The lack of an embodied presence and connection between people being together as humans is causing harm. It is leaving marginalised people further on the edges and…
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Neuroqueering in the Liminal Spaces
Neuroqueering in Liminal Spaces “By silencing our bodyminds, they (neurotypical society) have halted the growth of a chaotic self. We are no longer able to move fluidly through our experience, instead frozen like ice on an arctic tundra” (Gray-Hammond, 2023) David Gray-Hammond (Emergent Divergence) and I are responding to each other’s blogs to help expand the…
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The Double Empathy Problem is DEEP
“The growing cracks in the thin veneer of our “civilised” economic and social operating model are impossible to ignore”, Jorn Bettin (2021). The double empathy problem (Milton, 2012) creates a gap of disconnect experienced between people due to misunderstood shared lived experiences. It is “a breakdown in reciprocity and mutual understanding that can happen between people…
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Top 5 Neurodivergent-Informed Strategies
Top 5 Neurodivergent-Informed Strategies By Helen Edgar, Autistic Realms, June 2024. 1. Be Kind Take time to listen and be with people in meaningful ways to help bridge the Double Empathy Problem (Milton, 2012). Be embodied and listen not only to people’s words but also to their bodies and sensory systems. Be responsive to people’s…
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Embracing Autistic Children’s Monotropic Flow States
Article originally written and published for Neurodiverse Connection (Sept 2023) Autistic and ADHD people are more likely to be monotropic than the rest of the population (Garau, V. et al., June 2023). This means they focus more energy and resources on fewer interests/tasks/ sensory input at any one time compared to non-autistic polytropic people. Developing a…
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Monotropism, Autism & OCD
Exploring similarities and differences between Autistic and OCD monotropic flow states. Can attention tunnels freeze, and thoughts get stuck?
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Monotropism Questionnaire: Take It and Understand Your Results
Post first published 28th July 2023 Over the past few weeks, there has been a sudden surge of interest in the Monotropism Questionnaire (MQ), pre-print released in June 2023 in the research paper ‘Development and Validation of a Novel Self-Report Measure of Monotropism in Autistic and Non-Autistic People: The Monotropism Questionnaire.‘ by Garau, V., Murray,…
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Monotropism and Experiences of being Monotropic
The theory of Monotropism was developed by Dr Dinah Murray, Wenn Lawson and Mike Lesser (2005) in their article, Attention, monotropism and the diagnostic criteria for autism. Monotropism is increasingly considered to be the underlying principle behind autism and is becoming more widely recognised, especially within autistic and neurodivergent communities. Fergus Murray,(2018), describes montropism as:…
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Penguin Pebbling: An Autistic Love Language
Penguin Pebbling is a neurodivergent way of showing you care, like sharing a meme or twig or pretty stone to say “I’m thinking of you,” inspired by penguins who gift pebbles to those they care about.
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Autism & OCD – What Could Help
Updated October 2026. Autism and OCD overlap in ways that are easy to mistake for one another, and getting that wrong leads to the wrong support. This post sets out the differences and what could help; for the attention side of the story, Monotropism, autism and OCD explains why thoughts can loop, and the monotropism…
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Monotropism = Happy Flow State
Updated October 2026. This was my first attempt to explain monotropic flow to parents, and I still believe its central point: deep interests are not a problem to be managed but the place where Autistic, ADHD and PDA young people regulate and recover. I have written a fuller plain-language monotropism guide since, and glimmers and…
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Autism is fluid
Updated October 2026. “Being Autistic” is one of the searches that brings most people here, so a word on where this post sits now. It is a short statement of the neurodiversity paradigm: autism is a way of being, not a disorder to fix, and Autistic needs are fluid. If you want the vocabulary behind…
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Neurodivergent Friendly Classrooms
Updated October 2026. I wrote this for Twinkl in 2023, and the attendance crisis it describes has only deepened. The classroom ideas still apply. Since then I have written about why behaviour-based approaches such as PBS do harm, and about the monotropism that underlies so much of what teachers see; both are worth reading alongside…
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Supporting neurodivergent students who are struggling to attend school
Updated October 2026. School attendance remains the question I am asked about most by families and schools, and the reasons have not changed: unmet needs, sensory overload, masking and burnout. This post sets out what schools can do. For the burnout side read the Autistic burnout hub and the teacher guide; for parents, Parent ideas…
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Supporting pupils through Autistic Burnout (Neuro-Affirming Teacher Guide)
Supporting pupils through Autistic Burnout (Neuro-Affirming Teacher Guide)
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Supporting autistic students experiencing OCD in a school setting
Updated October 2026. More pupils are living with OCD alongside being Autistic than most schools realise, and the support that works is rarely the standard behaviour plan. This guide is still my starting point for teachers; read it with Autism and OCD: what could help and, where burnout is part of the picture, the Autistic…
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Autism, OCD, Alexithymia & Interoception
Updated October 2026. Alexithymia and interoception are two of the least understood pieces of the autism and OCD picture, and I still get messages about this post every week. Since writing it I have explored the same territory through monotropism, which helps explain why anxious thoughts loop, and gathered the support side in Autism and…
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Education Crisis – Neurodiversity Affirming Teacher Training Needed
Language Identity First Language: In line with preferences from the Autistic community I will be using Identity First Language (ie. Autistic person, NOT person with Autism) Neurodiversity – This relates to the biological fact that human brains and minds differ from each other. Neurodiversity aligns with the idea that all children are unique and…
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Supporting Children through Autistic Burnout (Parent/Carer Guide)
Updated October 2026. This guide was one of the first things I wrote for Autistic Realms, and it is still the page most parents arrive at. Since then I have gathered everything on burnout into one place, the Autistic burnout hub, and written about how burnout differs from depression and about spoon theory and energy.…
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Parent ideas for autistic children struggling with school attendance
Updated October 2026. If your child cannot face school, there is always a reason, and the ideas here are about finding it rather than forcing attendance. Since I wrote this I have added a parent guide to Autistic burnout, which is behind a great deal of school distress, and a short explainer on spoon theory…
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Ideas for Autistic Children who are Struggling at School
Updated October 2026. This was among the first posts on Autistic Realms and it is still the one I send to parents who sense something is wrong before anyone else does. The signs below hold. For what to do next, Parent ideas for Autistic children struggling with school attendance follows on, and the Autistic burnout…
