Thoughts evolved from Kate Fox’s community writing workshop June 2025.
Inspired by the poem by Mary Jean Chan
“When I was young, I realised my body
was something to be held back or kept
in its place, so I have mastered the art
of observation, how to watch faces for
a frown or grimace: signs of weather.
Once, a teacher came up to me in the
school playground and asked me if I
had any feelings. Your expression is
blank, she added. What could I say?
I knew how to dim any spark within.
Years later, I left home for the poem:
inscrutable house, constructed space,
blue room, how the poets have named
a heaven in which lonely meanings sit
companionably beside lonely children”.
Unmasking as Reclaiming Our Attention
When we talk about masking, we’re often talking about survival, a suppression of needs and trying to fit in. For many of us, being Autistic in a world that doesn’t understand us means learning early on how to attend to what is expected in neuro-conforming ways.
Many Autistic people are monotropic, we may notice every little detail about how people talk, move, and behave and the environment around us, often at a sacrifice to our own well being and missing out on other cues. We end up using our attention perhaps not to follow our passions, or to meet our needs and support our wellbeing, but to try and fit in into society’s expectations. We master “the art of observation“, we use up huge amounts of energy to seem “normal,” often without even realising we’re doing it. We may miss our interoceptive signals, we may struggle with regulation as our attention is being constantly pulled and rewarded by others for attending to the socially acceptable ways of being.
Constantly scanning, morphing and adapting is exhausting. It draws our attention away from the things that actually matter to us, the things that could bring us joy, comfort and help us flow. Instead, masking forces us to misuse our attention and traps us in cycles of trying to be someone we’re not and leads us into burnout.
Back in 1992, in Dinah Murray’s first ever publication about the concept of monotropism from Living with Autism: The Individual, the Family, and the Professional. Durham Conference Proceedings, she wrote;
“For a monotropic person…for whom every shift of interest is abrupt – I believe the force of other people’s interests trying to change theirs (trying to line them up with their own) is like a wrench each time. I believe it actually hurts…“.
I agree, being forced to shift your attentional resources in ways that go against your Autistic monotropic flow actually hurts. My ideas about monotropism and the impact of masking, aren’t really new ideas. It has now been over 30 years since Dinah Murray first started thinking about the impact of neuronormative domination, masking and use of attentional resources for Autistic people, it is an area that needs far more research and thought given to it.
As I discussed in Autistic Young People: Skills Regression, Burnout or a shift in Monotropic Attentional Resources?, if a person is monotropic how they use their attentional resources is key to understanding their ability and capacity to learn. It could be key to understanding the spiky profiles and fluctuating developmental path that so many Autistic and multiply neurodivergent present with.
Many people are accused of becoming or seeming ‘more Autistic’ when in burnout (often common leading up to and post identification). This could be because when you’re in burnout you are using all your energy just to get through the day. When you are in burnout there is nothing left to keep ‘masking’, all of your energy and attentional resources are going into survival mode. This may mean more time stimming and meeting sensory needs, less normative ways of communicating, a withdrawal from social expectations and a deeper dive into what ever is pulling your monotropic attentional resources at that given time. It may mean more time with our special interests or passions, more time in our dens with a weighted blanket and fairy lights, or what ever your body and mind needs to start to replenish itself. It could also mean that our attention is being pulled towards more negative looping thoughts, rumination, anxiety and it can lead into a deep depressive tunnel, alongside burnout.
When we realise we’re Autistic and find out about monotropism, it can open up space to start making sense of things. We can begin to notice how our energy is used, and where our attention is pulling us towards and why. It gives us a chance to be kinder to ourselves, to allow more time and space around events to help navigate a smoother flow between our attention tunnels. We can start giving ourselves permission, when it’s safe, to follow our real interests and meet our sensory needs. We can lean into curiosity, flow, awe and wonder, instead of compliance.
Unmasking isn’t necessarily about stopping a behaviour, shedding ourselves or suddenly letting go. ‘Unmasking’ may be more about returning to ourselves, unsuppressing and reconnecting. We could reframe the idea of ‘unmasking’ as a way of reclaiming our natural monotropic attentional resources in ways that actually support us and can help regulate flow and bring joy.
It is worth considering the words we use such as masking, camouflaging, did they come from the Autistic community or were they put on us by others to ‘other’ us further? It is a journey working out what language feels right for you and what reflects your actual lived experience. Many will connect with the concepts of masking and unmasking, many may not. It is never as simple as ‘taking off the mask’. Some people may resonate more with other words to describe this experience such as ‘suppression of needs’ or may be the theory of monotropism helps to explains it.
Talking about masking and unmasking in community spaces, with people that ‘get it’ can be a starting point, it can be step into the Neurome. The neurome which Kate Fox explains is ” the mind equivalent of a biome. It’s a space where quirky minds can thrive and flourish. Where they are accepted in their diversity and their associated sensory needs”.
Talking about masking in itself is important as it open up a space for us to think about what words and theories feel right for us, what resonates. By thinking about masking within the frame work of monotropism, as a use of attentional resources, we can begin to notice what our bodyminds really need and what brings us into flow. We can start to reconnect with our innate rhythms, sense of time and sensory perception. We can find spaces that don’t deplete our energy and force us to use our monotropic attentional resources to conform and create stuck states, anxiety and lead us into burnout. By embracing the theory of monotropism and finding safe spaces, we can instead follow where our natural attention leads us, engage in flow and discover our authentic monotropic neurodivergent selves.
