Between Being and Belonging: An ecological game about neurodivergent thriving, exploring the webs that hold us within our ecosystems, and what can grow from the spaces between us
This is in beta mode – a collaborative project between myself, Helen Edgar (Autistic Realms) with David Gray-Hammond at Neurohub Community.
(with may be support from Ryan Boren – Stimpunks???)
Please do not share wider at the moment, we will announce when this game is ready to play and it will be live in Neurohub Community!
Why do we need this game?
For over a century, dominant approaches to mental health have worked from a narrow assumption: that distress lives inside the individual. Emotional suffering has been framed as faulty brain chemistry, disordered cognition, or personal dysfunction — an internal problem requiring internal correction. Behaviourist frameworks have compounded this, reducing complex human responses to problems of behaviour to be managed, shaped, or eliminated. And underneath all of it runs a deeper myth: that there is a normal way to be human, and that those who fall outside it are the ones who need fixing.
For neurodivergent and disabled people, these assumptions have caused serious harm. The question has too often been: what is wrong with this person? It has rarely been: what is wrong with the world around them?
The ecosystemic model of distress, developed by David Gray-Hammond at NeuroHub Community, proposes a fundamental shift. The origins of distressing psychological experiences can be found in the wider ecosystem around a person — in their body-mind, their immediate environment, and the systems and structures of power that shape their lives — rather than being the burden of the individual alone. Distress is not a fault in the person. It is the system speaking.
This game grows directly from that model, and from Re-Storying Autism: A Framework for Families, Parents, and Carers, the Amazon number one bestselling book and course co-authored by Helen Edgar and David Gray-Hammond. Re-Storying Autism offers a neurodiversity-affirming framework for reimagining how Autistic people are understood and supported — moving away from deficit narratives, behavioural compliance models, and the myth of normality, toward relational, ecosystemic, and rights-based ways of thinking. The ecosystemic model sits at its heart: change the story, change the conditions, change what becomes possible.
Between Being and Belonging puts that framework into something you can experience together. At its centre is a mycelial web — drawn from ecological metaphors for neurodivergent and disabled life, where care flows laterally between nodes rather than downward from a centre, and where each person is understood as always in the middle of becoming, shaped by and shaping the ecosystem around them. Threads in the shared web grow or thin depending on what the ecosystem is doing. The question the game keeps returning to is not what is wrong with this person — but what is happening around them, and what would need to change.
It can be played alone as a reflective journalling tool, or with a group as a facilitated conversation.
It was made for by and for neurodivergent and disabled communities — and for anyone who has ever been told the problem was them.
How to use this game
Playing solo — Open the game, choose Solo, and name the parts of your ecosystem: your home, relationships, work, body, the systems you move through. Check in briefly with where you are arriving from. Then draw one card at a time, read the question slowly, and write a few words if you want to. The cards add or remove threads from your personal web. At the end, a session summary gives you something to carry forward. There is no pressure to finish the deck. Stop whenever you need to.
Playing in a group — One person shares their screen or opens the game together. Choose Group, and begin with a brief check-in — each person shares one word about where they are arriving from today. Move through the six ecosystem discussion nodes at your own pace, staying as long as feels right with each one. When the group is ready, draw cards one at a time, reading each question aloud or passing it to someone else. A facilitator can note what emerges after each card. There is no winning or losing. The goal is to tend the web together and notice what the ecosystem is telling you.
import { useState, useEffect, useRef, useCallback } from “react”;
const CARDS = [
{ type: “deplete”, name: “Sensory overload”, q: “What in this space is asking too much right now?\nThis is about the space — not the person.”, effect: “Remove one thread from the web”, d: -1 },
{ type: “deplete”, name: “Something changed without warning”, q: “What shifted suddenly?\nHow did that pull energy from the network?”, effect: “Remove one thread from the web”, d: -1 },
{ type: “deplete”, name: “Being managed instead of understood”, q: “When someone corrects rather than connects —\nwhat does that take from us?”, effect: “Remove two threads from the web”, d: -2 },
{ type: “deplete”, name: “Coping alone”, q: “Who was expected to manage by themselves\nwhen the network could have helped?”, effect: “Remove one thread from the web”, d: -1 },
{ type: “deplete”, name: “Not enough money, not enough safety”, q: “Housing, food, transport — these are not background details.\nThey are the ecosystem.\nWhat is unmet here?”, effect: “Remove two threads from the web”, d: -2 },
{ type: “deplete”, name: “Still waiting”, q: “Support was needed. The system said wait.\nWhat does waiting cost a nervous system?”, effect: “Remove one thread from the web”, d: -1 },
{ type: “deplete”, name: “A decision was made without you”, q: “Someone else decided. It landed on you.\nYou were not in the room.”, effect: “Remove one thread from the web”, d: -1 },
{ type: “deplete”, name: “Differences punished”, q: “Where does this system make space for difference —\nand where does it punish it?”, effect: “Remove two threads from the web”, d: -2 },
{ type: “nourish”, name: “A predictable space”, q: “What would this space need to look and feel like\nfor you to fully arrive in it?”, effect: “Add one thread to the web”, d: 1 },
{ type: “nourish”, name: “Someone regulated alongside you”, q: “You did not have to manage alone.\nSomeone was steady so you could find steadiness too.\nWho does that for you?”, effect: “Add two threads to the web”, d: 2 },
{ type: “nourish”, name: “Treated as someone with a voice”, q: “What does it feel like to be listened to —\nnot managed, not fixed, just heard?”, effect: “Add one thread to the web”, d: 1 },
{ type: “nourish”, name: “The space changed — not the person”, q: “When an environment is adapted to fit someone\nrather than the other way around —\nwhat becomes possible?”, effect: “Add two threads to the web”, d: 2 },
{ type: “nourish”, name: “The community moved together”, q: “When has collective action changed something\nfor your community? What did that feel like?”, effect: “Add two threads to the web”, d: 2 },
{ type: “nourish”, name: “A new connection”, q: “Something grew between two people\nwho had not connected before.\nWhat made that possible?”, effect: “Add one thread to the web”, d: 1 },
{ type: “nourish”, name: “Whose story belongs here?”, q: “Every ecosystem has gaps where certain voices are not heard.\nWho is missing from this web?”, effect: “Add one thread to the web”, d: 1 },
{ type: “signal”, name: “Distress is not a fault”, q: “What is this distress telling us\nabout the ecosystem — not about the person?”, effect: “No thread change. Pause and listen.”, d: 0 },
{ type: “signal”, name: “Shutdown”, q: “This is a nervous system protecting itself.\nNot failure. Not weakness.\nWhat made this necessary?”, effect: “No thread change. Rest here a moment.”, d: 0 },
{ type: “signal”, name: “Burnout”, q: “What built up quietly over time\nto bring things to this point?\nWhat would the network need to recover?”, effect: “Remove one thread. Draw a Nourish card next.”, d: -1 },
{ type: “signal”, name: “This is not a disorder — it is an adaptation”, q: “When a person reorganises themselves to survive\nan unsustainable situation — that is not illness.\nWhat conditions made this necessary?”, effect: “No thread change. Name one thing that would need to change.”, d: 0 },
{ type: “signal”, name: “You cannot fix a person out of a broken ecosystem”, q: “Support helps. Stability helps.\nBut if the ecosystem stays hostile, distress returns.\nWhat needs to change — not in the person, but around them?”, effect: “No thread change. Name one ecosystemic change.”, d: 0 },
];
const ECO_NODES = [
{ title: “The community we come from”, invite: “What communities, identities, or shared experiences brought the people in this group here? What do we have in common — and what is different between us?”, prompt: “People can share as much or as little as they like. A word or a nod is enough.”, ph: “What the group named about the communities they come from…” },
{ title: “The spaces and systems we move through”, invite: “What organisations, institutions, or systems does this group interact with — healthcare, education, work, welfare? What do those spaces ask of us?”, prompt: “This is not about blaming any one system. It is about naming what is there.”, ph: “What the group named about the spaces and systems around them…” },
{ title: “What we are carrying right now”, invite: “What is the group carrying into this space today — from the wider world, from recent events, from what is happening in your communities or lives?”, prompt: “You do not need to explain. Just name it. One word per person is enough.”, ph: “What the group named about what they are carrying…” },
{ title: “What supports this group”, invite: “What in your ecosystems — relationships, spaces, practices, structures — actually nourishes and supports you? What adds threads to your web?”, prompt: “This is worth naming clearly. Nourishing things can be easy to overlook.”, ph: “What the group named about what supports and nourishes them…” },
{ title: “What depletes this group”, invite: “What in your ecosystems consistently pulls energy away — not because of anything wrong with the people here, but because of what surrounds them?”, prompt: “Name what is there. You do not have to fix it today.”, ph: “What the group named about what depletes and strains them…” },
{ title: “What would need to change”, invite: “If the ecosystem around this group could change — not the people in it, but the world around them — what would make the most difference?”, prompt: “This is the most important question the ecosystemic model asks.”, ph: “What the group imagined about an ecosystem that would actually support them…” },
];
const MAX = 12;
function shuffle(arr) {
const a = […arr];
for (let i = a.length – 1; i > 0; i–) {
const j = Math.floor(Math.random() * (i + 1));
[a[i], a[j]] = [a[j], a[i]];
}
return a;
}
function WebCanvas({ threads, id }) {
const canvasRef = useRef(null);
const draw = useCallback(() => {
const cv = canvasRef.current;
if (!cv) return;
const w = cv.offsetWidth || 600;
const h = 150;
const dpr = window.devicePixelRatio || 1;
cv.width = w * dpr;
cv.height = h * dpr;
cv.style.height = h + “px”;
const ctx = cv.getContext(“2d”);
ctx.scale(dpr, dpr);
ctx.clearRect(0, 0, w, h);
const pct = threads / MAX;
const col = threads === 0 ? “#b03030” : pct <= 0.33 ? "#c49a20" : "#4a8a30";
const alpha = 0.2 + pct * 0.6;
const ns = [
[w * 0.5, h * 0.48], [w * 0.25, h * 0.22], [w * 0.75, h * 0.22],
[w * 0.13, h * 0.68], [w * 0.87, h * 0.68], [w * 0.37, h * 0.82],
[w * 0.63, h * 0.82], [w * 0.3, h * 0.1], [w * 0.7, h * 0.1],
[w * 0.5, h * 0.08], [w * 0.1, h * 0.45], [w * 0.9, h * 0.45],
[w * 0.5, h * 0.94], [w * 0.22, h * 0.54], [w * 0.78, h * 0.54],
];
const es = [
[0,1],[0,2],[0,3],[0,4],[0,5],[0,6],[0,9],
[1,3],[1,7],[1,13],[2,4],[2,8],[2,14],
[3,5],[3,10],[3,13],[4,6],[4,11],[4,14],
[5,6],[5,12],[6,12],[7,9],[8,9],[10,13],[11,14],[9,0],
];
const show = Math.round(pct * es.length);
es.slice(0, show).forEach(([a, b]) => {
ctx.beginPath();
ctx.moveTo(ns[a][0], ns[a][1]);
ctx.lineTo(ns[b][0], ns[b][1]);
ctx.strokeStyle = col;
ctx.globalAlpha = alpha;
ctx.lineWidth = 1.2;
ctx.stroke();
});
const sn = Math.max(3, Math.round(pct * ns.length));
ns.slice(0, sn).forEach(([x, y], i) => {
ctx.beginPath();
ctx.arc(x, y, i === 0 ? 5 : 3, 0, Math.PI * 2);
ctx.fillStyle = col;
ctx.globalAlpha = alpha + 0.2;
ctx.fill();
});
ctx.globalAlpha = 1;
}, [threads]);
useEffect(() => { draw(); }, [draw]);
useEffect(() => {
const ro = new ResizeObserver(draw);
if (canvasRef.current) ro.observe(canvasRef.current);
return () => ro.disconnect();
}, [draw]);
return ;
}
function NetworkZone({ threads, onChange, prefix }) {
const pct = threads / MAX;
const statusText = threads === 0 ? “Empty — listen to the signal” : pct <= 0.33 ? "Strained — tend carefully" : "Holding";
const statusColor = threads === 0 ? "var(--color-text-danger)" : pct <= 0.33 ? "#b87a00" : "#2a6e20";
return (
The mycelial network
Threads between us
Cards add or remove threads. You tend it together.
{threads}
threads
{statusText}
);
}
function DepletionPanel() {
return (
The web is empty right now
This is not failure. It is information. Let these questions be nearby — you do not have to answer.
{[‘”What is this telling us about the ecosystem — not about the person?”‘,’”What would need to change for threads to return?”‘,’”What has this web been carrying that was too heavy?”‘].map((q, i) => (
{q}
))}
When you are ready, draw a green Nourish card to begin restoring.
);
}
function CardBadge({ type }) {
const cfg = {
deplete: { bg: “var(–color-background-danger)”, color: “var(–color-text-danger)”, border: “var(–color-border-danger)”, label: “Depletes the network” },
nourish: { bg: “var(–color-background-success)”, color: “var(–color-text-success)”, border: “var(–color-border-success)”, label: “Nourishes the network” },
signal: { bg: “var(–color-background-warning)”, color: “var(–color-text-warning)”, border: “var(–color-border-warning)”, label: “Signal — pause and notice” },
}[type];
return {cfg.label};
}
function CardDisplay({ card, isSolo, onPlay, onSkip, journalNote, setJournalNote, facilNote, setFacilNote }) {
if (!card) return null;
const qBg = { deplete: “var(–color-background-danger)”, nourish: “var(–color-background-success)”, signal: “var(–color-background-warning)” }[card.type];
const qBorder = { deplete: “var(–color-border-danger)”, nourish: “var(–color-border-success)”, signal: “var(–color-border-warning)” }[card.type];
const btnBg = { deplete: “#8b2020”, nourish: “#2d5016”, signal: “#7a5c14” }[card.type];
const btnLabel = { deplete: “Remove thread — play this card”, nourish: “Add thread — play this card”, signal: “Pause here — play this card” }[card.type];
return (
{isSolo ? “Read slowly. You do not have to answer. Write something below if you want — or just sit with the question.” : “Read this aloud — or pass it to someone else. A nod or silence is always welcome.”}
{isSolo && (
Your reflection — optional
You do not need to explain. Just land.
Your personal web
Your mycelial network
Your threads of energy
Cards add or remove threads. This is a mirror of your ecosystem, not a score.
8
threads
Holding
Your web is empty right now
This is not failure. It is information. Let these questions be nearby, you do not have to answer.
“What is this telling me about my ecosystem, not about me?”
“What would need to change around me for threads to return?”
“What has my network been carrying that was too heavy?”
When you are ready, draw a green Nourish card to begin restoring.
Draw a card
One card at a time
Read slowly. Write if you want. Skip if it does not feel right today.
20 cards left
The deck is face down. Draw a card when you feel ready.
Cards drawn this session
Session log
Nothing drawn yet
Your session in brief
A quiet record of what came up, yours to keep.
0
Cards drawn
0
Depleting
0
Nourishing
8
Threads left
One thing to carry forward
“What would need to change in my ecosystem for things to feel different?”
Group mode · Online or in person
Between Being and Belonging
📖 How this works — tap to open
Easy read instructions for group play
▾
1
Get everyone together. In person or on a video call. One person shares their screen if online. 2 to 8 people. One person takes the facilitator role.
The facilitator reads invitations aloud and types the group notes.
2
Check in as a group. Each person shares one word or sentence about where they are arriving from. A nod or silence is always fine.
No pressure to explain. Just land together.
3
Move through the ecosystem nodes. Each node opens a discussion invitation. Stay as long as feels right. Move on when the group is ready. Skip any node.
The nodes are waypoints, not a checklist. Some may take the whole session.
4
Draw cards when you are ready. One at a time. Take turns drawing. Read aloud or pass the card to someone else. You can interweave nodes and cards.
A nod or silence is always a welcome response.
5
If the web empties, do not stop. Read the questions together. Name one thing that would need to change. Then draw a green Nourish card.
An empty web is not failure. It is the ecosystem speaking.
6
There is no winning or losing. The goal is to tend the network together and notice what the cards reveal about the world around you, not what is wrong with any person.
Pink — depletes — remove a thread
Green — nourishes — add a thread
Yellow — signal — pause together
Purple — ecosystem node — group discussion
Group check-in — arriving together
Before anything else — land together
Go around the group. Each person shares one word or sentence about where they are arriving from. A nod or silence is always fine. The facilitator can type a brief note here.
Facilitator tip: one or two words that capture the room is enough.
Ecosystem discussion — move through the nodes together
Group ecosystem exploration
Each node is an invitation to discuss, not a form to fill in. Stay as long as feels right. Skip any node.
The shared network
The mycelial network
Threads between us
This web belongs to everyone. Cards add or remove threads. You tend it together.
8
threads
Holding
The shared network is empty
This is not failure. It is the network speaking. Read these questions together.
“What is this telling us about the ecosystem around us, not any one person?”
“What would need to change for threads to return to this network?”
“What has this web been carrying that was too heavy to hold?”
When you are ready, draw a green Nourish card together to begin restoring.
Draw a card
One card at a time
Take turns drawing. Read aloud or pass the card. Silence is always welcome.
20 cards left
The deck is face down. Draw a card when you are ready.
Session log — nodes and cards
Everything that emerged this session
Nothing yet — the session is just beginning
Group session in brief
A record of what this group tended together.
0
Cards played
0
Depleting
0
Nourishing
8
Threads left
One thing this group is carrying forward
“What would need to change in the ecosystems around this group for things to feel different?”
